Randomm...

I was reminded the other day about old days(..glimpses through the diary..)

It felt so nice when i realized that i had won over a few of my weaknesses at that time..! its hardly a matter of 2 years and i can say it with a smile that the things that used to make me weak at that time are now gone! More than that it makes me feel stronger when i take on life right now! As I love to refer to it.. the mind-heart battle..! A strong mind leads the heart out of difficult situations..And at times we must let the heart lead..It brings us to new horizons...!

That strong an emotion....?

You know i have been thinking about this since quite sometime now..! Finally writing it out...

Love is a very strong emotion..It bonds,breaks and does a lot more than we think it can! how when in love we start looking at things differently...all the world's troubles seem to move away because there is something compensating for all of them..that strong an emotion!

Doing whatever it takes just to make that someone feel special. Love,if unreturned makes us convince ourselves pretty well that "my love is enough for both of us for now!"

Quoting someone i listen to a lot-"Just falling for someone is a good feeling in itself irrespective of whether the opposite person has fallen for you!".If there is love coming from the other end also,then nothing like it..! Love fills everyones lives to an extent that one can go on endless about love..that strong an emotion!

Oh and what happens if there comes distance..? Do the two words- "Long distance" overpower this one strong emotion? Do the feelings reduce just because now the "distance" tag is attached to their relationship? Obviously they will not..! But then,how much ever little feelings existed..no matter how genuine,the psychological effect of this distance is bound to hit them for sure..! Now is it that strong an emotion??

Well if i think about it..(i can only think not much of an experience here) its just how well you can convince yourself about this just being a phase and how what you share is above all such petty issues..(referring to it like that does reduce its effect!) If there is something strong..something to look back upon..something to look forward to then that should be enough to want to hold on! Otherwise there will be just one question was it that strong an emotion??

Random....

There are these times, when the heart cannot stop smiling.. you maybe doing something you enjoy,eating at your favourite joint or spending a moment with a loved one..

these are the times that we want to just hold onto...! And when its been a loong time since we have had any such moments we wait for them...!

When do we miss them more- just after they end.. or when its been loong since they occurred....!

Do i miss you more just after you leave or when we have not met for long.......

thoughts..!

People around me tell me i think a lot! well at times true but then most of the times not so much..!

In fact, I avoid thinking about things that will eventually put me into that vicious circle of thoughts..! Unless someone puts it in front of me and discusses it with me i am going to run away..!

This is exactly what has been going on. I have put a wall in front of my feelings..Feelings like leaving Pune..the end of engineering..looking forward to something soo different..the end of certain friendships i thought would last.. the beginning of new relationships that i never saw were coming..and loads of other things related to these..! i have been stopping myself from thinking about it or writing about it so that i don't fall prey to the sadness dangling form it all..! And i had plans of continuing this for a while..! But lately one thing triggered the other and somehow a small part of this feeling struck me..! i know i am not far from the time when this feeling will take over me..!

till then.. all smiles.! :) :)

The stars have FADED away...

All the starts may have faded away....

But do not lose hope..

You will see them some other day...!

when your eyes won't be clouded with tears..

And a happier day comes your way...

when the smiles will be here to stay..

and you get what you pray..

come what may..

you will see them another day..!

Random..!

All days will not be shiny and bright..! There will be days all dark and cloudy..!But you must not be disheartened.. because it takes a rainy day to put a rainbow across the skies..and it all depends on whether you know where to look!!

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The fact that we are enjoying ourselves is enough to hold on! Sometimes its more important who we are with and what we are doing rather than seeing a larger picture and finding a name for relationships..

a view

There are times in your life when you have to make decisions about what the right things are..! you spend hours pondering over your decisions...In most of these times there is a "mind-heart" battle! the logics of this world versus the desires of your world..! i say follow your heart..! You need not monitor life all the time..! Just let things flow..! Do what you feel like..Make your heart smile.. pamper yourself..! Live life the way you LIKE it...the way it brings you happiness..! You deserve this and much more.. so give it to yourself without hesitation! don't hold yourself back..because life will not always be a bed of roses... but as long as life gives you roses you can make it for yourself..!

just one thing...

Never regret anything that ever made you smile..!!

Just to see if "you" are worth holdin onto

Let go..! sometimes thats all you can do..! Sometimes thats exactly what you must do..! when the "me" is tired of being "me"..tired of hoping everyday that "you" would be mine! just let go..! If nothing else to see if it is worth holding onto..!

"you" will come back if it deserves someone like "me"..

and then "me" will have reasons enough to hold tight..!

You You You.....And You..!

Its all about you.. it has always been about you..!!

This 3 letter "you" has over-powered the 2 letter "me" loong back!

You talk..You cry.. You smile.. You want to go for a movie..You feel like eating this..You don't want to talk anymore...Its plainly just you..!!

And me..? well i am just watching all this happen..accepting everything as it comes.. telling "me" that there is no point trying to run away from what has happened.. because that how "you" want it to be...!

.....Silence.....

How sometimes someone else's silence Kills..!

But sometimes that is all you can give to the opposite person!

Silence is at times a way to keep away difficult questions about yourself...

and how Sometimes you're forced to be silent when there are a million firecracker questions bursting in your mind!!

How silence gives you the best answers in the best possible way...!

And at other times silence is the best way to answer someone...!

A silent smile, a silent tear...

A silent wish,a silent fear...

------------------- Silence -----------

Randomm...

How sometimes you wish people did not assume ..as all that it leads to is misunderstanding..which hurts either them or you and most if the times both! How simply people assume you're no longer the same and start changing themselves trying to adjust to the change! Result - they are the ones who are changing (which eventually leaves you in a tough spot!)

You know better!!

When you feel the world's going against you....

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Dear God..

I am not at all happy with what you've done to me! I don't deserve this at all! You knew what i wanted! I have been begging you for it since so long! then why? Why couldn't you have listened to my prayers this ONE time? Was it so difficult to listen to what my heart desired?

But at the same time i cannot even put this blame on you, because I know you love me and are constantly working to make things best for me!

You know much more about what I need ( which in this case i guess happens to be different from what I want!)

And that is exactly why I cannot get mad at you!

I know that you can see the future..and hence know what will be beneficial for me. Also I know that there is a reason for this and one day I will also look back upon this and realize how whatever happened was in my favour! But till then all I can be is disappointed!

So please help me see how this is the right thing!

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Don't worry! There is someone up there who cares for you more than You yourself!

Random...

Its a funny thing about a great loss.. you are upset but not upset enough! and that is simply because your heart does not accept it completely!!

Also there comes a time when you have lost so much that you wonder if there is anything more left to be lost! At that point there is neither sadness nor disappointment.. in fact you may even find yourself smiling!

Amazing how the rule of "happiness and sadness" applies so well everywhere!

Distance continued..

Distance in a Relationship

Sitting next to them and still feeling lonely
Keeping them in your heart and at the same time feeling empty

Telling them everything but still forced to keep sumthin to urself

Showing Love(& care) and in turn be dismayed
Then trying so hard to hate them

thinking 10 times before saying 10 words
When misunderstandings and altercations become a part of the day

when expectations are unexpectedly put down everytime
Then compromise seems to be the only option

When the happiness of their presence is overshadowed by disappointment of their behaviour
Losing all hope in them,but still loving them with all your Heart!

Asking yourself-Why they came into your life?

Every moment Wishing that- This DISTANCE never existed..
This distance Never existed..!

When "the coin" Stands straight..!!

We all know the two sides of the life's coin very well now..Here is a new scintillating thought...

When we are living the "blue" days we cry about how things were earlier,our emotional calculator calculating the "change",wondering whether our smile will ever be as long as it was,hoping and wishing that things would be better soon..

When we are happy there is a smile on our face but somewhere inside the mind knows its not for too long( I know too much negative thinking..), there is a constant fear of someone stealing it from you. Your mind may not tell you this everytime but its there somewhere!

All this is still tolerable..(Yes we are used to it now) But i see something new.. What do you do when you face both together!

When your heart is torn apart into two pieces - one soo happy and the other hurting like hell!

When on one side of the Life's puzzle the pieces start to fit in.. whereas you start losing pieces from the other side..??

what do u tell yourself at that time..??
"there is something slipping out from your hands on the other side..!! what are you being happy about?"
or
"what are you sad about.. now that you have what your heart desires?"

Everyone's Life alternates between these two emotions.. But life throws new challenges at you every now and then and here it is..!!